October 18, 2009 - the concert

**Update my wishlist for Christmas �09.
Man I haven�t updated my blog/diary/personal journal since July. Too long. I�ve been busy with school ya�ll. Okay, the truth is I�m too lazy to update and this webbie is just forgotten most of the time. I�m on facebook a lot. I should have updated soon because�(prepare for a long story)

On October 9th, I went to a JASON MRAZ CONCERT! First concert experience in my entire life! It cost me $60. And it was so worth it. I got to see Jason Mraz live! He�s real! It�s incredible to see him on stage and not in a picture or on a youtube video. Here what happened:

3:30-5pm: After I got out of class, my mom drove me home to get ready to get to BART to go to Berkeley. But before getting home she drove me to the New Park Mall to buy pepper spray in case some stranger was going to kidnap me. A couple of weeks before, I was talking to my mom about how Nicole had pepper spray to protect herself. So now my mom thought it was such as a good idea that I should have one too. I guess its better safe than sorry. I got home, quickly put on my newest plaid dress shirt, ripped open the plastic packaging holding my precious anti-rape pepper spray, stuck the spray, my water bottle, and my abused wool-orange purse into my over-the-shoulder strap brown bag, and race into my mom�s car. Oh and in between the time I was getting dress, I called Nicole up to meet me at BART. We got to Union City BART which is walking distance from my house.

5pm-7pm: While waiting at BART from Nicole, my mom and I were arguing over if she should park closer to the entrance. Then 3 minutes into the conversation, Nicole arrives and my mom encourage her to park closer to the entrance. Which she did and I didn�t want my mom pushing her to do that b/c it was eating at our time to get to Berkeley. Okay skip to the part where we got to Berkeley. Man that walk straight across the entire campus to the Greek Theater was long and exhausting! At the same time I was feeling sleepy from a semi-long day of school. Yes I did skip my second class from this concert. It was worth it! When we got to the Greek Theater�.two super long lines! We chose the second line thinking it was shorter but it snaked around the outside of the theater. When we finally got to the front, we had to open our bags to security like everyone else. The security woman ask if I had a bottled water so I showed her my stainless steel water bottle. She told me to open it up, which I did and said that it�s just water. She smelled inside and said that vodka was clear too. For reals???? I mean they do sell alcohol at the concert so what did that matter. I didn�t say that part. Okay then Nicole and I bought really cool pink Jason Mraz concert t-shirt in medium. Oh when we were waiting to buy the shirt, a guy yelled out �OMG IT�S JASON MRAZ!� and wow its was the funniest thing ever! Neither Nicole, nor I turned around but other girls in line did look. I kind of laughed at them because why would Jason Mraz be out here. I would think he was doing yoga in his dressing right about now or warming up his voice. Yes, I�m a cruel person. After happily purchasing the 25 dollars shirt, we sat down on the right section of the theater at the top area.

7pm: Concert begins. Bushwalla hosts. Robert Francis was the first opening act. He was pretty good but not too interested in his music. Brett Dennen was the second act. I liked him a lot more. I might listen to some of his music later on. The dude was barefoot on stage. :P Then there was a 15-minute break-time before Jason Mraz came on. Man when he came out, the whole theater erupted. Everyone cheered for him. I was hoping to see him in a blend apparel t-shirt but since it was freezing cold (thank god I listened to my mom and brought my jacket), he was wearing a black or dark blue hoodie. I recorded Beautiful mess, you and I both and details in the fabric on my camera. I stopped recorded I really want to enjoy the rest of the concert. Anyways, I was recording a tiny version of him on stage since I was so far away. My favorite song was Dynamo of Volition but we got to dance, did the high five, down low and high ten arm motions, and give random people high fives! *hi 5* He also told the audience my favorite quote: �don�t let your mind stop you from having a good time.� I seriously live by that quote now. I don�t care of people think I�m a weirdo, I do what I want (south park reference right there). When Jason started playing �I�m Yours�, people in front of us stood up and I ask Nicole if she wanted to stand too. I got Nicole to dance and sing along to �I�m Yours�. :D In the middle of the concert the band shifted from the main stage to a small stage in the middle of the arena where the audience was at. One of the guys in the Makepeace brother band proposed to his girlfriend. And then Jason played �Lucky� (best romantic song ever) as the both of them danced. I wish I had that. Then he played two or three new songs with Brett Dennen and some other artists. Then Jason�s band when back on the main stage and played his last song �Butterflies�, also another favorite song of mine. We clapped for like five long minutes as the Jason and band bowed and left the stage. I heard that there was going to be some blend apparel t-shirt on the other side of the exit. The crowd of people trying to buy stuff was pushing everyone in. I was squeezed in line. So yeah, I bought a second t-shirt which was the Harmony t-shirt. I wasted 25 dollars. I wanted it for my Halloween costume. Even though it was too big for me I still wanted got it.

11:30pm: Nicole and I walked straight across the campus back to BART. Man it was freezing cold! Nicole said her knees were shaking during the concert. She�s happy to dance during the songs because she was moving around. I was pretty warm because of my cozy warm jacket. I think I gave her some warmth from the few times I hugged her. :) Hehe I bet Kara and Tivonne was jealous that I hugged Nicole. By the time we were inside BART, we didn�t say much. We were just exhausted from the whole experience.

12:35pm: I was starving and we didn�t have to eat before or after the concert. So we went home to eat. It turned out that my mom didn�t buy dinner so I had to cook scrambled eggs and eat it in a sandwich. I was so starving for about 7 hours that I ate a beast on that sandwich.

Overall: We singed, we danced, we went broke on t-shirts. xD

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July 16, 2009 - Staycation!

On July 8th, my family friends from Washington (The Thai family and the Ha family) came over to my house for their vacation. Surprising my house can house ten extra people. So for the next four days they slept over at house and pretty much partied for four days straight. I love it when they come over because I can finally vacation � staycation.

Thursday, July 9th�We went to the Valley Fair mall. Elizabeth and Andy bought their first build a bear. Turns out their build a bear workshop is 2 to 3 hours away. My BABW is a few minutes away, and I have a full bloat addiction to buildabearville.com. That game is the only reason I buy BAB. And now I got them addicted. They�re home in Washington and they are planning to buy more. Anyways, I bought an outfit for my bear to feed my addiction.

Friday, July 10th�We went to GREAT AMERICA! I haven�t been there in three years. I rode on the roller coaster rides except Invertigo. I�m too much of a pussy. I wanted to buy at least one souvenir but I resisted the urge again. And I want to buy something so bad! I have some kind of passive-aggression shopaholism. Tony is afraid for some reason. I thought a guy at that age would be fearless. His younger brother, Andy, has more courage. Overall, my feet ached at the end of the day.

Saturday, July 11th � We went to a Buddhist temple up in the mountain at Watsonville. The roads were curvy and dangerous. We could barely tell if there was a car driving towards us. When we finally made it to the temple, the view from the above was breathtaking. I could understand why they build it up here. The sound of nature, the serenity of silence, and the feeling of prayer. Being up there was like being close to the gods. I just love the smell of the incense prayer sticks. I felt uplifted. And they have a gift shop! I bought a round-beaded bracelet with the picture of the �Woman Buddha� on each bead and a necklace with a coin charm (dragon on one side and Woman Buddha on the other).

Sunday, July 12th � Bowling. I suck at bowling. At least I wasn�t in last place. Nick won first place.

The Thai and Ha family want my family to come over to Washington next summer but I have planned to go to summer school next summer. I can�t figure out a way to go on vacation to Washington next summer and go to summer school at the same time. I kinda have an idea to do a vacation after summer school. Also, my mom is dying to go to Washington too. :P I trying to make everyone happy here.

Dreaming of a outdoors vacation right now...Yosemite anyone?

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July 3, 2009 - *sigh* What to do this summer?

SUMMER BUCKETLIST PROGRESS

--Still waiting on WST results.
--Still riding my bike around Quarry Lakes for exercise.
--Still re-learning to drive
--Still looking for a job
--Still need to paint my room
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New Updates:

--Got the SJSU bookstore job for rush week
--Opened a bank account with Wells Fargo.
--gain back all my weight. :(
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Summer is so boring. I somehow regret not signing up for a summer school class or something to do over the summer. I can't get a volunteer job for gosh sake. I've been killing time on facebook and riding my bike around Quarry Lakes for an hour. Oh and I have been talking to Brandon a lot recently. Awesome guy! Anyways, I'm looking forward for the Thai family to come over from Washington state last week. It'll be my vacation I've been waiting for.

I've recently got into Dubstep music. LOL! I listen to dubstep music radio so stay energize while I'm surfing the net. And I like watching rock climbing videos and cheering the rock climber on while watching it. :P I'm so weird. Brandon actually introduced me to both of those things. I'm open-minded. :)

Ok, done with this entry. Still bored.

May 26,2009 - Happy Birthday to me!

Listening to Jason Mraz's new CD right now. Anyways, to start off a new year I'm transferring to a new webbie username "dolove" (without the "r" b/c someone took dolover already)

List of things I need to do over the summer:

--~~Study for WST~~
--Find volunteer job or paying job
--~~Find fun activities to do outside of the house (ride a bike, go to a gym)~~
--Paint my room Lavendar or White
--Relearn to drive
--Lose weight (I lost six pound so far!)

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May 21,2009 - Thank You Panda Express. :)

During March, I opened a fortune cookie that contained a message saying that next month would be my lucky month. I really was hoping my life would get better during April because I was still depressed over my first break-up that ended during December. *thinking of Sheryl Crow's song 'the first cut is the deepest'* Well that fortune cookie message came true because I finally got over my ex-boyfriend. In those four months (including April), I had to small hope that he would come back but I finally realize he’s not worth it anymore. I have really evolved from my break-up. For one, I’m not incredibly shy anymore. I used to have a fear of talking to new people but now I ask random classmates about what might be on the physio midterm, or saying good luck to the random girl next to me during the physio final. I thought losing my ex would put me into depression and make me isolated from the world but instead I gained more confident. And I didn’t think I would love again because I saw my ex as the one I was hoping to be with. But during April, I had a huge crush with not only one guy in my class, but two guys in two different classes. You would think I would be too shy to talk to them but nope! I got to talk to both of them one-on-one. Awesome guys. *sigh* Too bad the semester is over. I won’t get to see either of them. :( *cries* They’re so cute! I don’t have a chance with any of them but a girl can dream. One guy has a girlfriend and other guy….we’re better off friends. I hope I see them next semester but there are thirty-thousand students that attend SJSU. So it seems impossible to see them again if we don’t have class together. And this includes my nursing major friends I met in physio. I love my nursing friends! But next semester, I’m taking a bunch of nutrition classes. :( *sigh*
Anyways, I realized that there are so many better men out there and my ex was not “the one” I made myself think he was. After realizing that, I remembered negatives of our relationship. Man, what was I thinking? I’m so glad I have Tivonne, Kara, and Nicole to talk to about all these things.

Man I wish I didn’t throw away that fortune cookie message. :(

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April 8,2009 - Family of Bad Vibes

Icon by always_muneca.

I live in a family of bad vibes. My dad has a huge anger problem which he used to dump on to my little brother and me as children. But now that we're grown up, He transferred the anger to my mom. My dad throws his verbal abuse on to my mom almost two or more times a week. Its put a lot of stress on my mom. Also she get the abuse from my brother and sometimes me. My brother get pretty pissed when she cleans his room. She threw away his ex-girlfriend's balloon and he yelled at her about it. So I can understand when she will dump her anger on me somethings. Like last Friday, I told her that dad went to his friends house and will be back home at 8pm. She thought I said that she had to drive him to his friend's house at 8pm. She got so mad and screamed at me about it. I told her she misinterpret my words, apologized and made sure next time to tell her clearly what was going on, but she was still mad at me. In the middle of her yelling, I think about how I should not yell back at her about she deal with so much already and I should apologize so I wouldn't aggravate the situation any further.

I'm trying to change my bad-tempered attitude by thinking about Jason Mraz. After reading some on his blog entries, I want to be as chill as him. I have to be straight with you, I'm not a very nice person on the inside. I always seem to think about doing the worst things to people. Especially to a guy you might know. Punch them in the face, trip them, throw rocks at them (or if I'm in the library, books), push them down, call them an asshole, cussing at them, etc. I also noticed that I'm mostly cranky in the morning. Almost anything my mom says in the morning in the car, I automatically replied with a sarcastic remark. For example, Mom: "Remember to have your books with you at all times". Me: "Yeah mom like I'm going to forget 11 pounds weighing down my shoulder". But I can keep it all in my head and go about me day. But bottling it all up put stress on my mind, so I try exercising everyday, be courtesy to everyone around me, hang out and talk with friends from class. Its a stress-reliever. If all else fail, press play on my ipod and listen to Jason Mraz sing "Geek in the Pink" and "Make it Mine". Yep, this is how I keep myself sane.

This family harbors a lot of bad vibes. I seem to always blame my dad for it because we seem to internalize the reaction to any situation by yelling and blaming the other person. I realized that I can only blame myself for my actions. Being aware of my action will be one step closer controlling my bad attitude and to being a better person. I want people to know that I'm the nicest and happiest person they've known.

I don't know, I guess Jason Mraz has made me think a lot about myself

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April 7,2009 - Favorite Live video and "You And I Both" video

Mraz Vs Tours Episode3
Uploaded by jasonmrazworld

You and I Both ~ Jason Mraz
Uploaded by Cehcw

I've been looking for this video on youtube but I couldn't find it until now. It was on dailymotion, and I love this video A LOT! Enjoy!

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April 6,2009 (12:00am) - Bleh Physio!

I spend the whole day not studying for physio! Yay! Instead I make a new layout! I did like my last one more but I felt like converting to Jason Mraz. I'll convert back when John Mayer comes out with a new cd. I editted the wishlist but deleted some things. I editted my about me. It still pretty small but I'll add to it eventually. I'll make a photo section but its going to lead to my photobucket for now. Ok...So....umm....enjoy this picture of Jason Mraz sleeping .

Ain't he cute?

Actually, I need some sleep right now, night!

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April 5,2009 - Long Time No See, Webbie!

Well after a year my brother's girlfriend official broke up with him (or was it the other way around?). I know how it feels to really lose that one person you truly love and knowing that you can't spend the rest of your life with him (or her). Its been 3 months and I still can't get over him. And I really want to get over him! I'm friends with him but is it right to still be talking to him. I mean I could be ruining his life by still talking to him. What happens if he has a new girlfriend? But I don't want to lose contact with him because he's a great friend. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I hate losing friends. I felt lonely after losing two friends (I felt like I lost Dorothy and Matt *imagining Kara's punch in the arm* Ouch.). But I'm grateful I still have Tivonne, Kara and Nicole helping me through this and accepted me in their inner circle. Now I'll do anything to protect my friendship from ever shattering. What else is helping me through my break up even after 3 months? Jason Mraz. Turns out Nicole is a huge fan and Tivonne likes his music too. I've started listening to his old music and I love them! I read his blogs on his website and watched his live concert through Youtube. Now I'm in LOVE with Jason Mraz. I love him so much I totally sing my heart out to him (even when I'm walking around...silently, don't want to look crazy). I love his whole hippie carefree vibe. If I could be like him; his happiness is so infectious! And I'm trying to change my grumpy attitude. His music has helped me a lot, emotionally. Thank you, Jason Mraz, you're the greatest musician ever.

Anyways, My birthday is coming up and I've been talking about it a lot. I've only planned out the date, May 24th. What's been hanging on my mind was if I should invite Matt? I know, its a bad idea but he's my friend. I decided not to b/c my parents hate him and Kara hate him too. Too bad I guess. I also plan to cook food for my b-day instead of buying pizza. I can cook risotto! I'm going to try to make risotto cakes. And then maybe Pesto (too easy). Anyways I'm going to go study and update my wishlist. Sea ya my rarely seen webbie.

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January 1,2009 - Lost too much

After 2 month and 3 weeks. I lost my first love. He broke up with me because I wasn't compatible for him and he lost feeling for me. Shit! Deep down, I really want him back. I really wanted someone to kiss after the ball dropped. I want him to be there to cuddle me. I can't stop talking to him because I still want him to be my friend. Can't stop thinking about him. He was my friend of 5 and half years, it hard to let that go. I already lost Dorothy and even after all of this relationship craziness, I miss talking to her. She was fun and it hurts so much to be shunned by your former best friend. She blocked and deleted me from facebook and myspace. I really want to know what's up with her life. I have to say, I was glad to leave the POLS class that I was taking with Dorothy because I hated that she was shunning me from everything. I thought she would bring me down but I got an A in that class so booyaa! But now I'm losing two best friends. Even though I can still talk to Matt, he is being REALLY distant from me even as a friend. They have to be so "heartless" as Kanye West would say. I don't think things will be as great as they did back in high school. I remember Matt saying he loved college more than high school. I have to say I love high school more because I finally had a group of friends that I didn't lose within a semester or a year. We had fun, we were happy, we had great memories and we were still friends after high school. Greatest time of my life ever! Probably will be better than my 21st year in the future. Matt achieved happiness before 21. I feel like I'm going downhill. I'm glad to still have some of my friends that keep me from hitting rock bottom, which is like depression and suicide for me. "So you walk around like you don't know me, You got a new friend, Well I got homies, But in the end it's still so lonely" (yeah more Kanye West)

After the break up, I cried a little and went to sleep. I woke up 5:30am and cried a lot. I ran outside my house but stopped at the driveway. I really wanted to see the sunrise at quarrey lakes but it was too far and too cold to walk there. So I just stood there, thinking at my life. How can I achieve happiness now? Its really hard to get over him and now I'll never see him. I was so happy, but now I feel dead inside. I still remember that smell that came off of him when we were together. I miss it so much. And then I went shopping Sunday, but as much money as I spend, nothing can fix my shattered heart. But shopping helped my mind focused on other things and sometimes it remind of things. I've been playing rock band and guitar hero to help to focus on other things. He took away my heart and my happiness, but I'm grateful he didn't take my virginity.

I have a job now. I'm going to be working at the Spartan Bookstore during spring semester. But I've lost that confident I had when I had a boyfriend. But really, I can overcome this, its all in the mind. Having a job is a step forward to independence..bleh..Ok,I just want some money and some experience. I'm surprised that they hired me; I didn't think my volunteer Nursing Assistant work experience was going to help.

Last half of 2008 was the worst ever. Lost my auntie to a shooting in San Jose leaving my 2-year-old cousin as an orphan and lost two best friends in this relationship. I can't bare anymore. Please be good to me, 2009! I worked so hard.

Is Love Alive?

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